From Malibu (Rehab Center)
Chris get’s on his knees…clasps his hands together..pauses…Lord, I come humbly before your throne, my mind is clouded, my soul is aching, and my spirit is weak. I don’t know if I’m coming or going at times. There are a thousand voices in my ear, it seems like the entire world is on my shoulders, and I barely have enough strength to carry myself…I just want…PEACE. Peace of mind, peace in my soul, peace in my spirit…to just…i don’t know Lord, to be me. You know Christopher, the kid from VA..before the fame. Why is all this happening to me? I….I just (first tear falls…)…low sobs
On a plane to New Orleans
Rih sneaks off to her sleeping quarters…damn…why they just want let me live! It’s a concert..nobody’s jumping the broom…see they doing too much! All I want to do is finish this tour with a bang…I’m trying to stay focused…grabs her phone…goes on Instagram…”figures” she says…but it’s whatever.
Ugh I can’t sleep! Goes to the bathroom, stares at the mirror…who am I? Sometimes it’s easy to get this fame/real life mixed up…Jah help me please!! Looks up in the mirror again..how can I be at this place in my career, and when it comes to love, it’s like there is none for me? I’ve been talked about, lied on, and though I cleverly hide the pain of insults with witty clapbacks, that shit still gets to me, and yet I’m the bully. (Shakes her head as she walks out of the bathroom)…
I wonder what he doing? I hope this nigga staying focused…SKYPE…clicks his name…no reply. Oh boy…please let this dude still be in rehab..Chris don’t do anything crazy…Lord he don’t need any more problems.
Let me go ahead and pray…
Jah..thank You for watching over me, my family, my crew, and for how you continually keep your hand on us…but tonight, I’m coming for Christopher. No matter how much it may hurt, I just want him to be happy, and free from worry and stress. I pray that you remind him he is never alone because You are always there. Father strengthen the vision you have given him, and give me the womb to grow it and the wisdom to birth it out for him. Until you tell me something different, I know who I am, and who I was created to help, and that’s all I want to do.
I need your help though Jah…deliver me from the generational curse of pain,hurt,violence, that attempts to do me in, allow me to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Give me endurance in my spirit that I’m not ready to bolt every time something doesn’t go my way…I guess I’m asking you to deepen my well for my future..because if all I have is a shallow “well” filled with bitter water for my husband to drink from then what manner of woman am I? Surely not one that is ready to birth the GREATNESS that his seed possess. Yet if my “well” is filled with sweet water(Holy Spirit) for my husband, he will be restored, and his name will be on the lips of mighty men in the city gates. Lord please help me, so I can help him be restored…(tears start falling) Pauses
Chris, this is not My doing…I have not tested you in this manner, yet the adversary of your soul has come to steal, kill, destroy what I have put in you…THE WORD. The word I spoke concerning you as I knitted you together in your mother’s womb. He has attempted in several different ways to get you to denounce My word over your life…it’s only by what you say that will cause him to flee empty handed, or with all I have given you. It’s up to you. Son you cannot fight a battle successfully against and enemy you don’t understand. You are fighting against your shield of protection, wearing them thin, when the real enemy is in your face daily. Yet understand, the enemy is crafty, subtle, deceptive, and most of all a LIAR. Stop catering to your soul(mind will emotions), and feed your spirit(the word of God)..that you may be victorious over your enemy. Every good and perfect gift I have given you, the enemy comes in to snatch it away…your health(seizures), your voice(smoking), your wife(fear, rumors, lies,decisions she made, you made based off of selfishness and others words), now even trying to drive a wedge between you and your mother. But I heard the prayers of your mother Christopher…I won’t let them go unanswered. So it’s time …put your hands over your eyes….tell me what you see…
I don’t see anything…take your hands off, what do you see…Chris looks around the room and begin to name things in their…NO CHRISTOPHER..put your hand over your eyes again…(says the Lord…I have given you health, talents, wife, family, wisdom) now tell me what you see…heavy sobs…I see…I see me standing in front of millions, with my hands lifted up, singing…I see me talking to a sea of people giving my testimony, and oh Lord…I see me sitting down with young men in this industry teaching them about how important it is to have you, and the support system of those God assigned to your life, and how just as important it is to get rid of the ones You never intended to be a part of your plan. And lastly I see her, our kids, I see two people who look nothing like what they been through.
Now My son, all that you have seen, I have given it to you…remember with ME ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE, WITHOUT ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING.
With that Chris got up from his knees…check his computer and realized he had missed a SKYPE session.
On The Plane
I am going to use you to restore him. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. Robyn do you understand what your “favor” is that I have given you? Robyn thinks…no Jah. I have given you influence. You are a voice to this generation. Stop running from it. Be you, who I created you to be…Trust in Me with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, but in all your ways submit to Me, and I will make your path straight…I got you. If you could fix yourself you would have done it by now…(she smiles). My ways are higher than your ways, and My word shall stand.
And with that..she heard her phone buzzing. When she seen his name..a smile came on her face. Answering it she just stared at him for a moment. What’s up he said? She frowned a little…you been crying? He put his head down (embarrassed) and said “man I just got finish praying, I can’t lie..it was one of those moments you know.” That’s funny because I just got finished praying myself..I guess that’s how we kept missing each other. So what’s up? Chris said. Nothing she replied…you know me I just wanted to lay eyes on you…mmmhmmm said Chris..more like checking up on me, but it’s all good..don’t worry baby, your man not gone nowhere. (smirk)…Oh my man huh…okay, I hear ya.
It’s been a crazy day…but I just wanted to reassure you of one thing…this thing right here (he takes to fingers and waves between the two of them from the screen) it’s not done…cause FOREVER IS A LONG TIME! I love you…Robs. Ditto yellow nigga! (laughs) bye..whoa whoa..nuh uh girl…you not getting off of here that fast…you know what’s up…Chris NO! You know how you get, and you know how loud I am…And didn’t we just get finished praying? (they both burst out laughing)…Jesus help us! Bye baby, I love you..goodnight…night bae.